Things I wish I understood before getting married

A recent discussion with my friend about marriage inspired me to write

this post. Based on some of my previous blog posts, I'm sure you may be wondering how it was like to get married after dating for a year. well, that may be discussed later.

We have been married for almost two years and by God's grace, I can say that marriage is a blessing. No matter what we are faced with, at the end of the day we are happy we have each other. I'm truly blessed to be married to my husband :) 

Before we got married, we attended the marriage counseling session organized in my church, got some advice from friends and families and discussed how we want our marriage to be.

However, there's definitely something different about experiencing what you've heard & planned. Somethings I knew about but didn't quite understand before getting married are:

1. There’s no perfect marriage:

Everyone is unique so is every marriage. You can only learn things that can improve your marriage.

2. It will be emotional in the beginning: 

Leaving my family, changing my last name and so on. I was happy to have my husband's last name but I had to deal with an identity change. (I don't deal with changes easily).

3. Communication is important:

Communication doesn't end when you get married. Lack of communication could lead to avoidable issues and assumptions. It’s important to understand each other and communicate any misunderstandings effectively.

4. Let go of unnecessary expectations: 

It’s ok to express what you expect or desire politely but when those expectations aren’t met, don’t dwell on it. 

5. The wedding day:

This is just for a day but marriage is forever. Plan more for a 'successful' marriage than just the wedding day (I truly hope you understand this point).

6. Pray without ceasing: 

Prayer is absolutely the master key. Now we have a bigger family, there are more people to pray for as well as more things to pray about (especially for wisdom). 

7. Living with someone is different from visiting them: 

Life as a newlywed is different from dating. This phase requires patience, understanding, communication, and effective conflict management.

8. Enjoy each moment: 

Every day is a present from God, how you choose to spend it is totally up to you.

9. Forgiveness:

Holding on to the past will lead to hurt and unhappiness.

10. Don’t give up on your personal goals: 

Try to have personal goals and family goals, encourage each other to accomplish your goals. 

11. Rely on God for everything: 

There’s nothing God can’t do, He will provide all you need and the HolySpirit will teach you how to grow together in unity.

12. We keep learning every day: 

Each day comes with new experiences that give us the opportunity to learn about each other. 

(Disclaimer: I am not a marriage counselor, I just enjoy sharing my experiences and what I learn from them. I also love learning from people's experiences).

So over to you, I’d like to know what you wish you understood before getting married.