Being a bridesmaid comes with various roles and duties you should be prepared to be up for and others the brideshouldn't even think to ask you to do in first place. But one major no-no is being asked to drastically change your normal physical appearance for her big day—which is essentially what happened to "bridehairthrowaway," who is a bridesmaid for a daughter of a family friend.
"Yesterday morning I received an email from Ella," she told Reddit. "It seemed pretty standard but then when she got into the look she wants for her bridesmaids she wrote 'Bridehairthrowaway, you'll
need to dye your hair for the day, I'll take you to my hairdresser and cover the cost :).' This had never been mentioned to me. I'm a natural ginger, so it's not like I have an outrageous hair colour, although Ella and her other bridesmaids are all brunettes."
Apparently, the bride believes that red hair will "clash" with her wedding colors and be "too attention-grabbing" in photos. Other bridesmaids told bridehairthrowaway to just dye her hair and appease the bride for the sake of the group, but she still feels uncomfortable doing so.
Should she cave to the bride's demands? Here's what Reddit said:
"Maybe what you're wearing but not your actual appearance. This is some serious bridezilla nonsense. Tell her that you'd have to live with this change for long after her wedding day is over and you are not willing to do it. She'll stand out anyway. She'll be wearing a wedding dress." —doctorgaylove
"You are not being unreasonable at all! I'm planning my wedding now, and I'd NEVER ask bridesmaids to dye their hair! This is bridezilla-level shit, like she's scared of being upstaged by her 'maids, so she's making crazy demands. She's being ridiculous. Tell her you'd love to be a bridesmaid, but you won't dye your hair. And if she insists on the hair, you should decline to be a bridesmaid." —tsukiii
"This is not the last absurd and entitled demand she will make of you. Save yourself some trouble. Back out now." —SaucySaboteuse
"She knows you're an actual person, right? Not a scarf or purse or some other accessory whose entire purpose is to make her look better? I really, really think you should back out of this wedding as politely as you can now. That level of bridezilla is only going to get worse." —bickets
"Hairstylist here...At first I thought maybe she was trying to tell you that she would pay for you to get highlights or something like that, but if you're a natural redhead and you go darker OR lighter and decide you don't like it you will have to put in a lot of time/money to get to something resembling your natural color. I don't know who your friend thinks she is but no, she doesn't get to just decide something like that." —Croenbergdani
"I have seen some brides ask bridesmaids to dye hair if the hair color was unnatural (say, dyed green) but even still, if you have a friend with green hair and want her to dye it, say that before asking her to commit to being a bridesmaid (if it's really that important to you) so the friend can decide which is more important. I personally think it's out of line to ask someone to dye their hair for the wedding, especially if they don't have it dyed at all and the bride is complaining about someone's natural hair color." —CB4life
"'That's not going to happen,' is an appropriate response." —kallisti_gold
"Absolutely do not offer to wear a wig. The only thing a bride should have a say in is the style (up or down). Otherwise she can find a new bridesmaid. Please don't give in!" —FiloRen
We're cringing a little bit. Stay strong, bridehairthrowaway!
source: Glamour.com
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